If you missed Linda Brauer on NPR, click here to listen now!
SUPPORT OR SABOTAGE?
THE ROLE OF FATHERS IN RAISING A CHILD WITH AD/HD
Do you have a different view than your spouse on the diagnosis and treatment of AD/HD?
Do you feel you have to do everything?
Does your spouse feel sidelined?
On Tuesday, January 17th, 2012, the Parent Group will view “Father to Father,” in which fathers will be seen having a heart to heart (man to man) discussion about what it’s been like for each of them to be a dad to a child with AD/HD or disorder that affects self control. This will be followed by an interactive, group discussion. Both or either parent is invited to attend, whether or not you are married. Learn how to capitalize on what each of you has to offer and have your own relationship with your child!
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Are You Raising A Child
Whose”Batteries Were Not
July 19, 2011- CHADD Parent Group
with the acclaimed, Rick La Voie!
- “Nothing motivates her!”
- “He can do a good job if it’s his choice.”
- “She’s so lackidaisical! Getting her to do anything is like pulling teeth!”
- “The least I should be able to expect is that a student tries.”
- “He did a great job on our cave unit. So he has the ability!”
- “He just needs a good kick in the pants!”
Does it seem like your child has more than enough energy
when it comes to doing what they are not supposed to do,
like pestering their siblings, but when it comes to having to get
started on homework, clean their room, or get to school on time,
they move like molasses? For many children with disabilities,
even hyperactive children, it seems when they were born, that
“batteries were not included!”
In addition to children with AD/HD craving stimulation because
their brains lack mental energy, Rick La Voie says all behavior is
motivated and lists reasons for why children may appear not to be.
For example, he says they would prefer not to try at all,
than to try and still fail. They would rather be viewed as bad than
He says that because their performance is inconsistent,
we end up punishing them when they finally do do
something well by saying, “See, I knew you could do it!
There’s no reason you can’t do this all the time!”
He discusses the limitations of using rewards, punishment, and competition
He says we use rewards as if “not appearing to be motivated” is simply a
matter of choice, but what if trying your best isn’t enough?
He mentioned a summer reading program that was trying to motivate
students with disabilities to read more by rewarding them with a free
hamburger every time they read a book. He said they were motivated,
but it just created fat kids who hated reading!
Find out what DOES work, when we view the second half!
Tuesday, July 19th, CHADD’s Parent Group will view the second half of Rick LaVoie’s presentation, “The Motivation Breakthrough!”
followed by discussion.
If you didn’t see the first half, we will show it at 6:30!
CHADD’s Parent Group meets on third Tuesdays, from 7-9 pm,
at St. Luke’s Lutheran Church, at the corner of 4 Mile Rd. and
the E. Beltline, just north of Sunshine Church. Enter the door
with the ramp off of the parking lot and join us downstairs!
(There is also an elevator straight ahead.) There is no cost or
pre-registration required to attend. All interested are welcome!
May 17th, 2011
NAVIGATING THE MEDICATION MINEFIELD! with Child Psychiatrist, Philip C. Haines, M.D.
Sometimes getting medication “right” can be frustrating, and can be like following a moving target, but, when someone finally “blooms,” you know it was well worth the effort!! Some parents wait two years, after their child has been diagnosed, before deciding to try medication. They wait because of frightening stories they’ve heard, misunderstandings, commercials that list long lists of potential side effects– “including death!” or they wait because of fears of the unknown. Sadly, not doing anything is not necessarily “playing it safe,” either.
Bring your questions and, “Ask the doctor!”
Dr. Haines has been Board Certified in General (Adult) Psychiatry and Neurology since 1975, and in Child & Adolescent Psychiatry since 1979. He studied in Lucee Buffon, Paris, France, and at the Stony Brook School in Long Island, NY. He graduated from Yale University in New Haven, CT, in 1969, earned his M.D. degree from the U of M Medical School in Ann Arbor, and completed his residency and fellowship in Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, at the Lafayette Clinic, in Detroit, MI, in 1977.
In addition to being a member of seven professional organizations, he also holds a Professional Membership with CHADD!
He has been in private practice, at 4550 Cascade Rd. in Grand Rapids, since 1993.
Parent-to-Parent Class: Letter from a Dad
We are halfway through this year’s CHADD parenting class, “Parent-to-Parent.” Last week, a father gave me a letter he’d written, and gave me permission to post it on the CHADDGR website. He believes it could help other families, and I couldn’t agree more! I removed his last name, but am glad he wants others to benefit from his experience.
I frequently talk with parents who worry that medication to treat AD/HD could hurt their child. There are no guarantees, of course, but sometimes parents have to weigh obscure risks vs. potential benefits.
Joe brought his son to the Up2U children’s mental health carnival at Roger’s Park Plaza, Saturday, where I was teaching origami. They each made a dog.
It was fun meeting the children of three families currently taking the class!
My name is Joe.
After we found out our son had AD/HD, his mother said she was going to put him on meds.
My first thought was, “You just want to drug him up so you don’t have to deal with him!”
We used to argue over that all the time.
I was in the dark. I didn’t know anything about AD/HD. I just thought my son was hyper and loud and hard to deal with. But since I’ve been coming to CHADD’s “Parent to Parent” class, I’ve been learning a lot about AD/HD and different parenting strategies.
Linda has been very helpful in giving me resources to help me better understand and deal with this.
April 19th, 2011
We watched “Bullying and AD/HD,” with Rick LaVoie, followed by discussion:
After watching Rick LaVoie’s presentation on bullying, we will have a discussion about what we can do to create more inclusive communities, where everyone belongs.
- “Isn’t bullying just a rite of passage that every child experiences?”
- “At what point should adults intervene?”
- “Aren’t we maintaining students in victim and bully roles by interfering and taking sides?”
- If a victim reports having been bullied, and the bully is punished, are we just driving the behavior underground, such as by the bully pressuring others to do their “dirty work?”
- What do AD/HD and language processing disorders have to do with social skills?
- What do poor social skills have to do with bullying? What can we do?
All interested are encouraged to attend, including parents, school personnel, bullies, those who have been bullied, and bystanders!
Past Parent Group Meetings of 2010